id be glad to
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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