i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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