Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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