Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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