i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
