Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
