Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
