I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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