True but thats because hes a fetus.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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