if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
