Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
