that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
