i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize