I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
