I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
