I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
