Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
