Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
