the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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