Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize