My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
