Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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