im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
