i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My cat gives me a boner
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
