You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
