Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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