he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize