he shaved USA in his pubs
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
