I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
