i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
