spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
