Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
be right there i have to get my cape
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
