Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
