I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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