I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
