Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
