I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
