Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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