I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
