I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize