Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
