Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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