He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
