I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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