A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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