She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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