the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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