i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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