who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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