it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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