I seem to have left my pride at pride
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
