Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
