dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize