she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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