Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
