Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize