Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
