Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm passing your future prison.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
