Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just invented taco cereal.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
