Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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