One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
