You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
